The Lesson Death Taught Me

You ever heard of a reverse bucket list ?

A reverse bucket list is everything you’ve achieved thus far. Now I know what you’re thinking, here Kate goes with a bragging post 🙄. Actually no. A reverse bucket list is showing gratitude towards the things you’re most proud of in your life. I think losing Bernard has really made us all think about what to be grateful for in life. (Trust me when I say I’ve experienced all the different levels of grief there are in the past month or so . Keep reading lol)

I don’t think we take enough time in our everyday lives to really think about what we’re grateful for. It could be the smallest thing ever. Sofy & I pray together before bed every night and we thank God for the things he provides us each day. Now beyond each day , there are things that I’m grateful for in my life that made me who I am today. I really had to narrow this list down for you guys but these are the most important.

1.My husband. This one sounds really cliche but I’m serious. When I met, Mr. Green, we had both came out of really effed up relationships. (I don’t mean to cuss but “messed up” was too delicate to describe them lol) Somehow we just became friends. Strictly friends. We would talk for hours and just hang out. Then one day it all just clicked for us and we’ve been down ever since. We’re not perfect but honestly when they say you marry your best friend, I agree 100%. We have been through the good, bad, & ugly and still love each other unconditionally. I’m grateful that he has stuck around during my ugly because I know I’m a piece of work at times. He has gotten me through a lot of tough hurdles and I could never thank him enough .. wait, he said vows for this, never mind 😂

2.Always wanting to be different and doing everything I said I would. Growing up, I was raised kind of “old school”. You respect your elders, you live your life the “right way”. Not everyone followed the way but for the most part I did. I was determined to finish high school and college without rushing into having a family at a young age. I went out for the dance team. Graduated successfully. I made sure I did everything I ever wanted to try before settling down. I am grateful that I experienced these things. At times my family probably were like “what’s wrong with her?” but I’m beyond proud of myself. I always stayed focused. (Also, this is no shade at all towards young parents and families.)

3.Battling anxiety and depression everyday. I have discussed this previously in past posts but I suffer from anxiety/depression. Now Kate, why would you be grateful from something that messes up your whole flow of life? Let me tell you. At times where this has been super inconvenient, it has made me stronger and more reliant on my loved ones. We can’t go through life without help. I don’t care who you are. Even on my toughest days, I have learned so much about myself to keep strong. It is easy to walk around with a rain cloud over your head all day. Being strong is getting through the stormy weather and I’m a huge fan of sunshine, so bring it on.

4.Getting a tattoo. One day I woke up and said I’m going to get a tattoo today. (I Literally said that lol) So I made the appointment and went by myself to get this long overdue piece of art I’ve wanted since I was like 18. I have a tattoo of a geometric lotus flower on the back of my neck. (I got it before I knew Mandalas were popular.) I didn’t just get the flower because it was pretty. The meaning of my tattoo: Lotus flowers bloom in darkness out of the mud. I have been through a lot of crap in life where it literally feels as if darkness has taken over. There’s times where I didn’t feel like I would make it out but I did! It’s not shaded in because I’m transparent. What you see is what you get. I am the strong person I’ve worked so hard to be after rising above all the negative experiences.

5.Promising my husband we would travel to places neither of us have been before. Aside from marrying this man, this is one of the best promises we could’ve made to each other. In our first year of marriage, we’ve been out of the country 3 times together. Some people don’t get that in a lifetime. We’ve experienced new things together and though this may not seem like a huge thing, our bond has become stronger. You only have each other when you don’t know anyone in these countries. Traveling is something new and exciting every time. We will continue until we’ve gotten countries off of our actual bucket list.

6.& finally , Starting this blog. I began writing at a young age and I’ve been pretty good at it. It really helps me channel all of my feelings and thoughts in a positive way. Writing is something you do for yourself. This blog means I get to share a part of myself, open and honestly, with all of you readers. I love to hear your feedback everytime I post. It is something that I really want to make huge someday but for now I’m fine right here with my Intoxikated Life.

Thank you all for sticking with me as usual,

Kaitlyn 💄💋