What do you mean she’s not yours?

You ever have someone who looks so much like you but you guys aren’t related? Maybe a friend or an acquaintance? This is me everyday. If you’ve kept up with me this far, you know I have a beautiful daughter. She’s hilarious, kind, sassy, looks & acts just like me at that age. People tell me all the time that she looks just like me even though she’s the spitting image of my husband. Want to know a secret? My daughter is actually technically my step-daughter. Now let me tell you the story ..

How I Became A Bonus Mom

6 years ago, I met a man & the rest was history. No seriously! When I met my husband he was a friend of mine working hard to take care of his little girl. At the age of 20 I didn’t know if I was ready to become like a mom. I was still in college and trying to figure out who I was. Interestingly, the more and more I saw their bond, the more I was drawn to them. My husband made it clear from the beginning that they were always a package deal. I loved kids so that wasn’t a deal breaker. As soon as I met Sofy I loved her. She was everything she is now but tiny. My hubby and I decided to date & eventually got married. I couldn’t imagine my life without him or Sofy in it!

What do I love about being a Bonus Mom?

The best thing about being a Bonus Mom is exactly the name. You’re a BONUS! You’re a Bonus cheerleader, parent and friend! Some children don’t even have the support of one parent & here she is with her parents, a Bonus parent and my family who loves her just as much as I do behind her. How cool is that? She has no idea that she has brought so much happiness into our lives & I wouldn’t have our bond be any other way! She is everything I could’ve ever wished in a daughter. I want to teach her everything I know so she can grow up to be a spectacular human being.

I love being a Bonus Mom because no matter what I made a choice to love someone else’s child as my own without hesitation.

I also love that no one can see the line between Mom & StepMom. That’s what I wanted. I want the love to show, not the line and I think we’ve accomplished that. I was always taught that your family is family.

Love is love.

What’s hard about being a Bonus Mom?

Everything! No one is perfect and that goes for both parent and child. There is no manual or advice that can prepare you to be a parent. I learn so much from my husband even after all these years.

First things first, you have to be patient! Things can get muddy and it’s frustrating a lot of the time. For instance, I had a time where school wanted me to prove we were related. Um .. how do prove that other than us having the same last name? Do they ask biological parents this? I am still perplexed but something as simple as that can be really difficult.

Another hard thing about being a Bonus Mom is hearing people say things like “Let E (my hubby) handle it, that’s his kid.” Umm .. nope! It’s OUR KID! I think it’s actually rude when people say this because the day I chose to marry him, I married all of him! I married him, his mom, his family, his child. They’re my family. There are a bunch more things that can be hard but this is pretty much the gist of them all. If this job was easy, everyone would do it without issues.

No matter what, being a Bonus Mom isn’t a job I would ever trade. So far it has been a lot of fun watching my munchkin grow as I continue always being the Bonus she needs in her life.

Bonus Mom = Bonus Love!

Thank you guys for sticking with me,

Kaitlyn 💄💋

16 Comments Add yours

  1. mewooding says:

    I love this so much! Bonus moms are a huge part of the family dynamic. It’s so important to highlight both the challenges and rewards that come with it, thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for reading!


  3. Marissa says:

    This post is just so beautiful. I loved reading about your journey with your husband and your daughter. I’m a mom to two girls and I know that whether your birth mom, step mom, bonus mom or whatever, there’s such a beautiful relationship between a mom and a daughter.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is amazing. And it’s so true, just because you didn’t give birth to her doesn’t mean you can’t love her more than anything in the world! She’s lucky to have you!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you so much for reading! Means a lot


  6. Thank you so much! I appreciate you taking the time to read this.


  7. shannonday13 says:

    This post is everything! As a kid of divorced parents I so appreciate every little thing my step mom does for me and my siblings, even my dad!!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Thank you so much for reading! Your comment means so much xo


  9. This is Brii says:

    This is too cute! I had a stepdad growing up, but to me he was my only dad, I can relate to this 100% 💛

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Thank you so much for reading ! I hope my daughter sees me the same


  11. This was so beautiful. Thanks for writing this personal story. I love the ownership you’ve taken over raising your daughter, and the love that is so clear in your family. As you said, family is family.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Thank you so much! I really appreciate you taking the time to read this.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Caitlin Houston says:

    I absolutely love this … and how you say you’re her Bonus Mom! You’re amazing!


  14. Samary says:

    What an Amazing post! You are a great example to other parents!!


  15. Coralys says:

    Interestingly enough I never heard of the term “bonus mom”, but I love it. I think that this is absolutely amazing and I agree when you marry someone you marry all of them.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Thank you! Will and Jada Smith use the term Bonus Mom. That’s where I got it from.


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